What are the benefits and dangers of traditions in youth ministry?

I am a church mutt—or, for those needing a more dignified description, I am what you might call well rehearsed in navigating through different church cultures and traditions. While that might seem like a negative, for the most part, I believe I’m better for it. For the minor part, I’ve learned that many of the traditions we hold sacred are attributable to nothing more than personal or communal style, preference, or mere adaptations. Conversely, there are things we hold sacred in youth ministry that I’ve found to be not much more than an oftentimes feeble attempt at being trendy.

The kids in my youth group are by most accounts normal, but even so, they are an interesting bunch indeed. They regularly shoot bullets into many textbook youth ministry traditions. While they may like and appreciate the pizzas, games, and fun outings, they consistently remind me that those are not the reasons they come to youth group.

A few years ago, I decided to surprise the kids by converting one of our regular youth group gatherings to a game and movie night. My team and I worked hard to turn the youth room into a movie theater, complete with fresh popcorn, a candy bar, dim lighting, surround sound, and a larger-than-life projection. The night went well. Kids had fun. But as they left with an abundance of treats, one student turned to me and said, “This was cool, but I come to church for church.” I might have brushed that off as just one kid’s little opinion until a good number of them chimed in with agreement. It was agreement dripping from melting popsicles but agreement nonetheless.

Likewise was the time I skipped prayer in order to give a visiting artist more time to perform. The reminder was a smarmy yet again a clear, “Liked it, but…” I learned that while people appreciate keeping things interesting and current and relevant, they (even youth) “go to church for church;” to worship, pray, receive instruction, and be reminded of and connected to the one thing that is and forever will be bigger than themselves. Those traditions are sacred. But, as always, there’s another side.

Boys aren’t supposed to wear hats in church. That’s a big deal, particularly in the African American church because, to some degree, the act of wearing a hat represents clout and stature. To wear it in the “house of de Lawd” is an absolute offense because it makes your stature of greater importance than his. But see, for a millennial teenage boy, the hat is nothing more than a fashion accessory. To him, it means nothing and has no direct bearing whatsoever on his focus. Nor is it an indication of his lack of reverence for the Almighty. Removing of the hat is a tradition I’ve seen many a deacon and teenager squabble over, and while the Deacon usually wins it comes at the expense of the boy being so confused that he ends up completely checking out for the entire service over something that didn’t really matter.

But you know what modern accessory is clearly a threat to a young man’s reverence and focus? The cell phone; be it an iPhone or an Android. To the worship service, the smartphone is a handheld distraction just waiting to draw your attention and reverence away from the communal worship experience. Yeah, no matter how powerful and inspiring the worship service might be, it seems the urge to be connected to the outside world, even at the expense of being connected to God, is so alluring that we lose thousands of teens (and adults) to its intoxicating grips Sunday after Sunday. It matters, and every teenage boy and girl knows it.

So, rather than focus on the dated, ineffectual tradition of removing the hat, I’ve elected to zoom in on what the tradition is really intended to achieve: respect, reverence, and focus on God. So go ahead and wear your hat, Mr. Millennial Teenage Boy, but texting, Tweeting, and status updating on your cell phone are a no-no because it steals from you the whole reason you come to church. And while we're at it, please stand for the reading of God's Word. But don’t worry, in a few years it won’t be your cell phone. It’ll probably be your hat.

There’s a story about why people cut off the end of the holiday ham. Lots of people speculate about the meaning and reason for such a long-held tradition. Many thought and accepted that it was because it cooked better by giving the ham juices room to flow. So one day, after many years of going to Grandma’s house, it became time for the daughter to prepare the big dinner. Over at the daughter’s house, Grandma conspicuously watched as the meal was prepared, and sure enough, the time came to prepare the holiday ham. The daughter, per the tradition, cut off the end, put it in the pan, and then put the pan in the oven. She turned around to catch Grandma’s gaze. Trying not to be critical, Grandma squirmed before asking, “Why did you cut off the end of that ham?” The daughter quickly and proudly responded, “Because that’s what you taught me to do. It’s the tradition!” Grandma chuckled, shook her head, and sweetly said, “I cut the end of the ham off because my pan was too small.”

Don’t neglect traditions for the sake of fleeting trends. But neither uphold them just to exercise ineffectual customs. Let the reason be the reason.

Four benefits to tradition:
Shared stories. If you do an event or have a ritual or keep a tradition over the long haul, then your ministry has a consistent shared journey. Students and staff can say, “Remember that time at summer camp…” and they all have an instant shared story. Sure, each year was different, but there’s camaraderie and unity and ownership in shared language and experience, all of which are like gold in youth ministry.

Calendaring and family planning are easy. If you always do a Christmas party the first weekend in December, or every year you go to summer camp the second week in July, you become a staple in a family’s planning. They know what to expect and when to expect it. They know how to budget and what you generally tend to do. You make it easy for a family to plan with you.

We can learn and improve based on experience. If you constantly are changing stuff, then you will constantly be trying to reinvent the wheel or guess about variables you can’t predict. In traditions, you’ve done it before and figured out what works and doesn’t work. Therefore, you know the best road to get there and where to stop for dinner, the best place to do small groups, the best format for a rite of passage, the best way to run your weekend service, the best way to do all kinds of things because you’ve also done them wrong and fixed them. Tradition lets you learn from your mistakes and improve.

The logistics can be done in your sleep. You already know the family that does the food. You know who plays the music and who your leaders will be. You just call them, confirm a couple of things, and move on because they already know what to do, what to expect, and how to help. The logistics are virtually done before you even start. Tweak the flyer, fix two things you learned last year, make some phone calls, put it up on Facebook. Done.

Four dangers of tradition:
We can get in a rut. I once had a mentor tell me that a “rut is nothing but a grave with the ends kicked out.” Ruts are dangerous and should be avoided. Instead of thinking about what is best or what could and should be, we just do what we’ve always done and hope it’s better this year. We start worshiping sacred cows instead of Jesus, and before we know it, the nonnegotiable thing in ministry is not following the leading of the Holy Spirit to advance the spiritual lives of students; now it’s, “Do whatever you want, as long as you do this thing, this way.”

We get predictable. Tradition can also lead to predictability in a bad way. Instead of keeping your students on the edge of their seats, wondering what will happen next, they start to ditch stuff because they’ve already done it. Even if it was amazing the first time, the second time was okay, and the third time was, um…predictable. When we do and say what everyone thinks we’ll do and say, we lose our leadership edge in the lives of students.

We start to tell a boring story. Tradition has a way of leading us into boredom. No one wants to be boring. No one wants to tell a boring story. But when tradition trumps risk and new adventures and uncharted ministry territory, we start to tell a boring story. That’s a danger worth avoiding.

We become modern-day Pharisees. There’s a fine line between respect for tradition and legalism. Whenever we create new or hold onto old traditions, we risk becoming the very people Jesus so sternly rebuked. We are called to honor the sacred. We are not called to worship the traditional.